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The Rain is Here…

Oct 31st, 2010
by Leah.
2 comments

Today was the first day of rain this season here in Israel. Although we’ve had some occasional drops here and there in the past few weeks, the first real rain came this night. Somehow, all my kids managed to hear the rain at 2 AM and by the time they were up at 7, running through the puddles was the first thing on their minds.

Even after rearing sabras for a decade and a half, I am still amazed by their excitement whenever the rain season arrives. I can’t think of anything I could offer them, short of a surprise visit to the zoo or a family trip to some exotic location that would bring on the kinds of smiles that lit their faces as they frantically searched for rubber boots and last year’s coats.

What is it in the rain that makes them so happy? Although Israelis are obsessed with rainfall and following the water level of the Kineret (the Sea of Galilee – Israel’s main water reserve) has become a national pastime, I doubt that the kids’ excitement was fed by anxiousness over water shortages or the looming hike in water prices.

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Fast and Nutritious Lunch Bag Idea

Oct 9th, 2010
by Leah.
13 comments

At the PTA meeting the other day, school lunches was a hot issue. As the kids grow older and the school days become longer, a sandwich and a piece of fruit just didn’t seem to cut it anymore, leaving the mothers in search of healthy recipes to pack into the kids’ school lunch boxes.

Between my kids, who are in school way past the lunch hour, and my husband’s long hours at work, I had to find an idea for a packed lunch for adults and kids. Then, several months ago, I came up with a recipe for fast, versatile, and nutritious lunches that would please everyone. It is based on one single ingredient – couscous.

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Putting Out a Kitchen Oil Fire

Oct 3rd, 2010
by Leah.
3 comments

A friend sent me this information via our local listserv.I don”t know whom to credit for the write-up, but this is too important not to share.

If the oil in a pan ever catches fire, NEVER pour water over it. The water being heavier than oil, sinks to the bottom where it instantly becomes superheated. The explosive force of the steam blows the burning oil up and out. On the  open field, it became a thirty foot high fireball that resembled a nuclear blast.

Inside the confines of a kitchen, the fire ball hits the ceiling and fills the entire room. Also, do not throw sugar or flour on a grease fire. One cup of either creates the explosive force of two sticks of Dynamite.

Here is what you should do:

1. Turn off the heat.

2. Wet and wring a towel.

3. Cover the pan and wait for it to cool.

Watch this British public service commercial for the message to really sink in.

School Lunches – What in the World do You Pack in that Box?

Aug 26th, 2010
by Leah.
2 comments

Hadassah over at In the Pink has raised a poignant question that haunts many a parent – what can I pack in the lunch box that will keep the kids happy, satiated, and healthy, without getting bored.

Here are a few ideas I have used to feed my kids at school:

  1. Make several dozen shnitzels and/or Salisbury stakes and freeze them. You can then defrost one or two the night before and send them either in a sandwich (with catchup, mayo, hummus, mustard and vegetables) or in a container with some salad, left-over pasta, and so on. Be sure to pack the food into an insulated lunch box with an ice pack, so that it doesn’t spoil.

  2. This idea works especially well if your kids have a microwave in their school. Two years ago, all parents in our daughter’s class chipped in 10 shekels and the girls got a microwave for their classroom. Obviously, this is something you have to run by the school’s officials.

  3. Invest in a small thermos that will keep the food hot until lunchtime. You can then heat any leftovers from yesterday’s dinner and send them right along for lunch.

  4. Try alternative sandwich spreads: date spread, humus, tahini, halva, or date “chocolate”. You can find these and other recipes here.

  5. Make a deal with the kids – a couple of years ago when we decided to switch to whole-wheat bread only, we made a deal. The kids eat their whole wheat sandwiches and get white rolls and chocolate milk on Rosh Chodesh. It works most of the time. You’d have to find a formula that works for your kids, but the idea is the same.

  6. If your kids are old enough, put them in charge of lunches. I have found kids as young as 3rd grade to be quite capable of packing food for themselves and their siblings. You would need to set some ground rules, such a what can go in and what stays out, and provide some on-the-job training the first couple of weeks. Afterward, you can stay out of it and prevent any power struggles that frequently surround food issues in the family.

So, how do you keep your kids fed in school?


 

The Nutramigen Hoax

Jul 2nd, 2010
by Leah.
9 comments

Nnutramigen The Nutramigen Hoaxutramigen. If you know the name, chances are your baby is allergic to milk, soy, or both. (Mine is allergic to milk, eggs, and sesame). If you are like me, you’ve probably felt at a loss what to feed your hypersensitive baby. And if you are like me, you hate shelling out $15-30 per jar of this foul-smelling powder.

My acquaintance with Nutramigen began several months ago, while weaning my then 15-months- old. After abstaining from dairy, eggs, and tahina for over a year (the allergens pass through breast milk),  I was desperate to find a formula my baby could digest.

That’s when our dietitian recommended Nutramigen. At first, it sounded like an ingenious wonder food. Broken down milk protein, easily digested by allergic kids. How smart! Then, last week, after watching this video, I checked the ingredients panel and nearly had a fit. The VERY first ingredient – corn syrup solids!!! Followed closely by casein, corn starch, fructose, coconut and soybean oils. For this we are paying $15 a pack after the HMO subsidy?!

As one commenter has suggested, once your child has an allergy, the formula  companies have you by the throat. They charge premium for an illusion of perfect nutrition for a sick baby, while using the cheapest, USDA-subsidized ingredients – corn and soybean. The main issue is that the fructose in corn syrup metabolizes as fat (just like alcohol). In the video I had mentioned, Dr. Robert Lustig (a pediatrician from University of California) says some formulas are so high in sugar, they can be compared to “baby milkshakes.” He blames the formulas for producing the scores of obese 6-month-olds he routinely sees at his endocrinology clinic.

The problem is more acute for parents of allergic babies. What in the world can we feed our children without making them sick?


 

Parental Control – Will It Do the Trick?

Jun 7th, 2010
by Leah.
3 comments

Over at Minnesota Mamaleh, Galit has written an excellent post on the importance of boundaries, direct communications, and lots of love as the way for turning out value-centered, drug-free kids.

I completely agree with Galit’s approach to parenting. All too often, we are so concerned with letting children develop their own identities that we give up the responsibility for setting boundaries too early. This hit home a couple of months ago, when I noticed my teen going to sleep at all kinds of hours.  After putting her to sleep at the right hour for a decade, I was sure the good habits had sunk in. Apparently, I was mistaken. It wasn’t easy discussing bedtime with a 14-year-old, even though I was determined on doing it nicely. However, the message of parental involvement was worth the unpleasantness.

One thing is important to remember. There is no 100% guaranteed recipe to producing good kids. Yes, we are responsible for educating ourselves about parenting methods, for setting boundaries, and developing unconditional love for our children. However, we are not responsible for the final outcome.

The Hebrew word for child-rearing, chinuch, also means dedication of vessels or buildings as in Chanuka (the holiday on which the Temple was rededicated) or chanukat hamishkan (the dedication of the Tabernacle in the wilderness). Rashi, a medieval Jewish Biblical commentator,  explains chinuch to mean the preparation of a person or a vessel for his/its future function (Genesis 14:14). That’s all there is to child-rearing. The parents’ job is to equip the children with a necessary measure of self-esteem, good habits, and clear values for a lifetime of challenges. Once that treasure-trove is in the kids’ hands, they are free to do with it as they please.

We try so hard to do things right that, inevitably, we set ourselves up with high expectations of picture-perfect kids. We would like to think that if we do this and that and press all the right buttons, we will not be disappointed. In reality, our children have free will to follow the path we have shown them, go astray, or maybe even find an altogether different trail. I know that a terrifying thought, but we are not in control.


 

Parent Job Description

May 25th, 2010
by Leah.
3 comments

A few days ago I got this pearl via email. I have no idea who wrote it, but they have really hit the nail on the head.

If it had been presented this way I don’t believe any of us would have applied!!!

Position:

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma

Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop


Job Description:

Long term team players needed for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.

Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required including trips to the hospital, emergency room, walk-in clinics, primitive camping sites on rainy weekends, and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!

PTA meetings, school report card days, open house, things of that nature.

Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Extensive courier duties also required.

Responsibilities:

The rest of your life.

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets, baking , constant cleaning, and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap plastic toys and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

Possibility for Advancement & Promotion:

None.

Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

Previous Experience:

None required unfortunately.

On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

Wages and Compensation:

Get this! You pay them!

Offering frequent raises and bonuses.

A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

Benefits:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

THERE IS NO RETIREMENT – EVER!!!


 


Remembering Grandpa on V-day

May 10th, 2010
by Leah.
1 comment

Yesterday was May 9. I know this date probably doesn’t mean much to you, but for anyone growing up in Russia that’s Victory Day, the celebration of victory over Nazi Germany in 1945.

As always, Russians celebrated with a military parade (this year’s was the largest ever with over 10,000 soldiers and representatives of veterans from other Allied armies).

The Israeli media covered the local angle by interviewing Red Army veterans living here. As I listened to their  recollections, I remember another veteran, who is no longer with us, my grandfather.

Grandfather continued carrying silent reminders of his wartime experiences until his last day. Besides a limp and a hearing impediment, valiantly “earned” while liberating Poland, like many veterans, he always wore several military decorations on the lapel of his jacket. Despite our family’s deep scorn for expressions of Soviet patriotism, these decorations were such an integral part of who he was, that after his death my mother risked smuggling the medals out of the country.

If I would have to pick one trait that was special to my grandfather, it was his desire to make people feel good. Whenever he saw someone dejected, he’d pull a bill out of the pocket and tell the person to go buy something for himself. “Don’t eat alone; you’ll choke,” was one of his favorite expressions.  ”Be a mentsch,” was the other.

When our son was born, the only boy born in the family in more than a decade since grandfather’s passing, the choice of name was obvious. It wasn’t until several weeks later that we noticed that the child’s birthday coincided with grandfather’s yertzeit. What a fitting way for grandfather to smile at us from above.


 

Passover Cleaning with Serenity

Mar 19th, 2010
by Leah.
1 comment

Every year as Passover approaches, Rav Shlomo Aviner publishes his Guide to Passover Cleaning in One Day. The motto of the guide is that dirt is not chametz and children are not the Pesach sacrifice.

In a similar vein, last week, the Jewish Women’s Project for Ahavas Yisrael, which organizes learning groups for women, sent out an interesting dvar torah along with some tips for Passover cleaning without losing shalom bayit.

Don’t you wonder why so many of us feel compelled (and often drive ourselves and our family crazy in the process) to make our homes sparkle and shine in places no chometz could possibly hide? While knowing what is halachically necessary to clean and focusing on that is of primary importance to keep us emotionally balanced, Rav Yitzchok Berkovits says this urge for extra cleaning actually has a positive source and he shares the secret with us:

On Pesach, when we wear our best new clothing, set the table with our finest china and serving ware, lean on cushions as we sip good wine from sparkling crystal, we are not only celebrating our freedom, but that Hashem raised us from the status of lowly slaves to a people of nobility.

The Jewish People are aristocracy, mamleches kohanim v’goy kodesh. To fulfill the mitzvah of celebrating our freedom, we have to actually feel our aristocracy.

When we are inexplicably driven to make our home into a sparkling palace in time for Pesach, it is because we want this royal atmosphere to permeate our homes the Seder night. That is why it’s  hard for some of us to sit still until our windows and our silver and our floors all gleam.

Nobles live in a palace. We are the inhabitants of the palace, let’s act with Malchus.

How does a Melech act? With patience, compassion, a sense of calm and warmth. Let the crown we wear Seder night be won with weeks of smiles, soft speech, easy forgiveness and accessible love. This is the essence of Ahavas Yisrael, and the true fulfillment of Jewish aristocracy.

4 Tips to help you prepare for Pesach with Ahavas Yisrael:

  • Pesach begins and ends with untold grocery store runs. Check with a neighbor before you go, she also might be in need of another 3 dozen eggs.
  • Make cleaning breaks with your family a time to enjoy one another’s company.
  • Laugh when the jellyroll falls apart, and forgive when someone takes your parking space.
  • Be generous with praise, liberal with smiles, openhanded with help.

May Hashem bring you to the Seder table crowned in serenity.

Encouragement for Parents

Mar 12th, 2010
by Leah.
9 comments

Professionalism has its downside. As a long-time translator, I have great difficulty reading translated literature. Even if I am not familiar with the original, I notice the judgment calls made by the translator and consider how I would have done things differently. I have heard similar stories from other professionals, such as a graphic designer, who is bothered by font size mistakes or a sofer stam, who takes off his glasses whenever he is called up to the Torah on Shabbat, so as not to find a mistake.

The same could be said for parenting. As “professional” mothers and fathers, we all have our ideas of how to parent. Sometimes, our “colleagues’” parenting techniques rub us the wrong way. Over the years, I have received my fair share of comments and dirty looks from people, who thought they knew better than me how to bring up my children.

On one occasion, as we shopped in a huge department store, my daughter kept wandering off. No matter what I did, she seemed determined to get lost. Finally, I decided to try something different and let her experience logical consequences. The next time she walked off, instead of retrieving her, I stayed put and watched her from a distance.

After a couple of minutes, she realized she was lost and started looking for us. Soon enough, a kindhearted lady walked up to help. At that point, I walked over, thanked the lady, and explained that the girl was not lost and that I had kept an eye on her. The woman was incredulous. “Why would you do something like that?” she said, failing to comprehend why I would let my child feel lost.

This incident resurfaced in my mind several days ago, while shopping with my teenage daughter. As we walked down the main street of Jerusalem, we noticed a 5 or 6-year-old boy in the middle of a tantrum. He sprawled on the pavement and screamed at the top of his lungs, as his mother stood nearby, looking dejected. Apparently, she had decided to let the tantrum run its course. All around, people were stopping, staring, and making comments.

At that moment I felt an overwhelming feeling of empathy. I walked over and offered her some encouragement. She smiled backed. My daughter and I walked into a near-by store, and by the time we came out several minutes later, the child was in his mother’s arms, completely calm.

Despite our diverse backgrounds and approaches, all parents share a common goal – to raise happy, well-adjusted kids. Instead of judging, we can offer each other encouragement and share experiences. A friendly smile and warm word will take any parent much further than any critical stare ever could.

What do you do when people criticize your parenting style? Have you found an effective way to encourage other parents? Please share your experiences.

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