What has been the worst decision of your life? For me, buying a subscription to a parenting magazine some 10 years ago has become the most destructive mistake I have ever made.
Since I was born in Russia, my parents had a hierarchical, children-are-children, parents-are-parents, approach to child-rearing. And that was exactly the attitude with which I started out as a parent. Then, when my oldest daughter was 2 or 3 years old, I came across a parenting magazine. It seemed to have in-depth articles on child psychology, lots of helpful tips, and other relevant information, so I shelled out the $50 or so for a year-long subscription, thinking it would be a source of “enrichment.” Boy, was I wrong!
For the next 12 months, I read all about democratic parenting, authoritative advice on acceptable and unacceptable child management techniques, and the damage awaiting my children if I would fail to follow through. By the time my second daughter was born a year later, I had pretty much lost faith in my parenting abilities. Every challenge from the children made me question the wisdom of my decisions. The children sensed that and did their best (unconsciously of course) to test my authority. (more…)