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Counting the Blessings on Rosh Hashana

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As I was serving buckwheat for dinner tonight, my super-picky 10-year-old had a novel idea. “Mom,” she said, “I’ve decided to think of all the food you serve as man [as in Biblical food in the desert]. The man tasted like anything people wanted it to taste, so I’ll think I am eating passion fruit ice cream and that’s what the food will taste like.” Before I had a chance to digest the announcement, she was sitting in front of a clean plate.


These types of miracles don’t happen in our household often (certainly not with this kid), but the timing couldn’t be more perfect. I had just come back from a class on the connection between the curses in Parshat Ki Tavo and the repentance of Elul. My daughter’s bright idea opened a whole new vista in my understanding of this relationship.

trans Counting the Blessings on Rosh Hashana

The Torah tells us that the man had the taste of a pastry dipped in honey, but it was possible to derive other tastes by cooking or grinding it. Invariably, every morning, it arrived at the Jews’ front step in the exact quantity necessary for the family. Who wouldn’t want to wake up every day to a room-service delivery free of charge? Guess what, after a while the generation of the desert decided it was sick and tired of the man. People are always free to choose their interpretation of any event, so with enough negativity even one of the ultimate Biblical miracles could be (mis)construed as a curse.


This brings us right back to the curses of Ki Tavo. In the middle of the section (Deuteronomy 28:47), G-d reveals the reason for the curses. “Because you have not served Hashem your G-d with joy and with gladness of heart from the abundance of everything.” G-d gives each and every person everything he or she needs in life, yet somehow people often find themselves grumbling about the things they do not have. I am not saying we should not want to attain new and better things (both spiritual and physical) or to change that which needs to be changed. The problem begins when a critical outlook gets in the way of the underlying joy for what is there, when people stop counting their blessings and choose to concentrate on the negative.


The opposite is also true. Every cloud has a silver lining if only we want to find one. With this attitude, even the curses of Ki Tavo can be viewed as blessings in disguise. One such interpretation is offered by Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, the founder of Chabad (interestingly, Rabbi Shneur Zalman’s birthday, Elul 18, usually falls out close to Parshat Ki Tavo). This is how my neighbors chose to relate this morning, when their daughter accidentally ripped the kitchen cabinets off the wall while trying to climb on the counter at 7 AM. They could have focused on the child’s misdeed, on the fright, on the financial loss, on the inconvenience of sweeping the glass from their entire house for three hours, or on the ruined Shabbos atmosphere. Instead, they decided to concentrate on one thing only – the miracle of a child coming our unscathed from what otherwise might have become a tragedy.

This idea of counting the blessings is central to Rosh Hashana. As the new year begins, we approach G-d with a request to grant us another chance. Despite everything we might have done until now, this year we promise to be true to our mission. And what exactly is that mission? Midrash Tanchuma (Naso 17) reveals that G-d’s purpose in the Creation was to establish a dwelling place for Himself in the lower worlds or in other words for man to reveal the divine in the mundane. By becoming cognizant of our many blessings, we acknowledge G-d’s presence in our world. The shift in focus from the negative to the positive frees us from the obsession with “must-have” to thinking about doing our jobs by maximizing that which we already have, not only in physical possessions, but also in talents, relationships, and possibilities.

As any parent knows, nothing puts a damper on the wish to give like an ungrateful child. As Rosh Hashana approaches, may we all find the wisdom to seek out the positive and thus become worthy of even more divine blessing.

trans Counting the Blessings on Rosh Hashana

School Lunches – What in the World do You Pack in that Box?

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Hadassah over at In the Pink has raised a poignant question that haunts many a parent – what can I pack in the lunch box that will keep the kids happy, satiated, and healthy, without getting bored.

Here are a few ideas I have used to feed my kids at school:

  1. Make several dozen shnitzels and/or Salisbury stakes and freeze them. You can then defrost one or two the night before and send them either in a sandwich (with catchup, mayo, hummus, mustard and vegetables) or in a container with some salad, left-over pasta, and so on. Be sure to pack the food into an insulated lunch box with an ice pack, so that it doesn’t spoil.

  2. This idea works especially well if your kids have a microwave in their school. Two years ago, all parents in our daughter’s class chipped in 10 shekels and the girls got a microwave for their classroom. Obviously, this is something you have to run by the school’s officials.

  3. Invest in a small thermos that will keep the food hot until lunchtime. You can then heat any leftovers from yesterday’s dinner and send them right along for lunch.

  4. Try alternative sandwich spreads: date spread, humus, tahini, halva, or date “chocolate”. You can find these and other recipes here.

  5. Make a deal with the kids – a couple of years ago when we decided to switch to whole-wheat bread only, we made a deal. The kids eat their whole wheat sandwiches and get white rolls and chocolate milk on Rosh Chodesh. It works most of the time. You’d have to find a formula that works for your kids, but the idea is the same.

  6. If your kids are old enough, put them in charge of lunches. I have found kids as young as 3rd grade to be quite capable of packing food for themselves and their siblings. You would need to set some ground rules, such a what can go in and what stays out, and provide some on-the-job training the first couple of weeks. Afterward, you can stay out of it and prevent any power struggles that frequently surround food issues in the family.

So, how do you keep your kids fed in school?

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The Nutramigen Hoax

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NNutramigen - How much is corn syrup?utramigen. If you know the name, chances are your baby is allergic to milk, soy, or both. (Mine is allergic to milk, eggs, and sesame). If you are like me, you’ve probably felt at a loss what to feed your hypersensitive baby. And if you are like me, you hate shelling out $15-30 per jar of this foul-smelling powder.

My acquaintance with Nutramigen began several months ago, while weaning my then 15-months- old. After abstaining from dairy, eggs, and tahina for over a year (the allergens pass through breast milk),  I was desperate to find a formula my baby could digest.

That’s when our dietitian recommended Nutramigen. At first, it sounded like an ingenious wonder food. Broken down milk protein, easily digested by allergic kids. How smart! Then, last week, after watching this video, I checked the ingredients panel and nearly had a fit. The VERY first ingredient – corn syrup solids!!! Followed closely by casein, corn starch, fructose, coconut and soybean oils. For this we are paying $15 a pack after the HMO subsidy?!

As one commenter has suggested, once your child has an allergy, the formula  companies have you by the throat. They charge premium for an illusion of perfect nutrition for a sick baby, while using the cheapest, USDA-subsidized ingredients – corn and soybean. The main issue is that the fructose in corn syrup metabolizes as fat (just like alcohol). In the video I had mentioned, Dr. Robert Lustig (a pediatrician from University of California) says some formulas are so high in sugar, they can be compared to “baby milkshakes.” He blames the formulas for producing the scores of obese 6-month-olds he routinely sees at his endocrinology clinic.

The problem is more acute for parents of allergic babies. What in the world can we feed our children without making them sick?

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Nutrition with Your Eyes Open

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If you have followed this blog for any period of time, you must have notice that nutrition is a big item on my list. Today, I came across a video lecture that will change the way I feed my family. No, we don’t drink Coke and we do eat whole grain everything. Still, this talk has transformed the way I view food and the nutritional choices I will be making starting today.

For years, we’ve been “spoon-fed” about the benefits of a low-fat, high-carb diet. Guess what, it’s a hoax. In this video Robert H. Lustig, Professor of Pediatrics in the Division of Endocrinology at the University of California San Fransisco  debunks everything we take for granted about nutrition:

  • natural does NOT mean good-for-you
  • animal fat and LDL are NOT (always) bad
  • exercise is NOT there to burn calories
  • all calories are NOT created equal
  • carbohydrates are NOT all the same
  • USDA recommendations were NOT created to benefit us
  • fruit juice and (some) baby formulas ARE toxic

If you want to raise healthy kids and be there to enjoy their adulthood, you owe it to yourself to watch this video.

Beyond the realization that the seemingly harmless fructose is so horrible for our health, I loved the simplicity of the solution.

  1. No sweetened beverages (soft drinks, fruit juice). Only milk and water.
  2. Eat plenty of fiber.
  3. Wait 20 minutes for the second portion.
  4. Buy screen time with exercise (it’s not what you think).

What was your most shocking revelation in this video?

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Humanitarian Crisis in Gaza – Gourmet Videos

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What images does “humanitarian crisis” conjure in your mind? For me, it’s the stories of the siege of Leningrad during WWII, which some of my family members experienced first-hand.

The face of a humanitarian crisis

The face of a humanitarian crisis

The Hamas and its supporters (especially in the media) would like us to believe that something of the sorts is happening in Gaza. Then, last week, the Israeli Government Press Office spoiled the show by sarcastically inviting the foreign press corps in Gaza to visit the Roots Club and get a first-hand glimpse of the humanitarian situation in the strip.

The owners of Roots have reportedly invested over US 1 million into the site, which leaves us with two options: either they are stark-stupid, throwing money to the wind or there is no shortage of clients for this posh establishment.

Lest you think this ritzy restaurant is one-of-a-kind place for the rich and famous (as Palestinians have been claiming since the publication), think again. Just in case you should ever  find yourself in Gaza with nothing to eat, here is a sampling of YouTube videos from Gaza restaurants in a variety of price ranges (use Google Translate to verify Arabic captions). Note that all videos are from 2008 and on (well into the Israeli blockade of the strip).

Lighthouse Restaurant – Gaza

Pay attention to the fountain and the manicured lawns (in view of the severe water crisis in Gaza).

Key West Restaurant – Gaza

If you’d like something simpler, this Gaza-style Kentucky Fried Chicken should suit your fancy. (I do hope the Hamas doesn’t burn them down for identifying with enemy values).

Almat’haf Museum and Restaurant

Man doesn’t live on bread alone. At Almat’haf Museum and Cultural House cultural experiences and fine dining go hand in hand. Note the planned construction of a boutique hotel, which seems to be unhampered by the alleged Israeli embargo on building materials.

Falafel – Gaza Style

Finally, no Gaza dining guide would be complete without some first-class falafel with an assortment of pickled vegetables.

Wow, that looks appetizing!

Parental Control – Will It Do the Trick?

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Over at Minnesota Mamaleh, Galit has written an excellent post on the importance of boundaries, direct communications, and lots of love as the way for turning out value-centered, drug-free kids.

I completely agree with Galit’s approach to parenting. All too often, we are so concerned with letting children develop their own identities that we give up the responsibility for setting boundaries too early. This hit home a couple of months ago, when I noticed my teen going to sleep at all kinds of hours.  After putting her to sleep at the right hour for a decade, I was sure the good habits had sunk in. Apparently, I was mistaken. It wasn’t easy discussing bedtime with a 14-year-old, even though I was determined on doing it nicely. However, the message of parental involvement was worth the unpleasantness.

One thing is important to remember. There is no 100% guaranteed recipe to producing good kids. Yes, we are responsible for educating ourselves about parenting methods, for setting boundaries, and developing unconditional love for our children. However, we are not responsible for the final outcome.

The Hebrew word for child-rearing, chinuch, also means dedication of vessels or buildings as in Chanuka (the holiday on which the Temple was rededicated) or chanukat hamishkan (the dedication of the Tabernacle in the wilderness). Rashi, a medieval Jewish Biblical commentator,  explains chinuch to mean the preparation of a person or a vessel for his/its future function (Genesis 14:14). That’s all there is to child-rearing. The parents’ job is to equip the children with a necessary measure of self-esteem, good habits, and clear values for a lifetime of challenges. Once that treasure-trove is in the kids’ hands, they are free to do with it as they please.

We try so hard to do things right that, inevitably, we set ourselves up with high expectations of picture-perfect kids. We would like to think that if we do this and that and press all the right buttons, we will not be disappointed. In reality, our children have free will to follow the path we have shown them, go astray, or maybe even find an altogether different trail. I know that a terrifying thought, but we are not in control.

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If it weren`t so sad..

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Chief Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels is credited with saying that if you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. His dubious success must be the inspiration behind Hamas-proxy “peace activists““ attempt to deliver “humanitarian aid,“ while in search of enough blood to cause a PR sensation.

What really gets to me is that seemingly intelligent people continue buying into these cheap tactics. In a situation as grotesque as this, satire is the only way to go.

Gaza Flotilla – Just the Facts

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As the world condemns Israel for exercising its right to self-defense in boarding the so-called Free Gaza flotilla, three claims are made:

1. Israel has violated the international law by boarding peaceful ships in international waters.

2. Israel ambushed the ships.

3. IDF troops used excessive force to kill peace activists.

For anyone with even a drop of intellectual honesty, here are the facts:

1. Here’s the relevant paragraph from the “international law” (HT to The Yid with the Lid):

According to the San Remo Manual on International Law Applicable to Armed Conflicts at Sea, 12 June 1994:
SECTION V : NEUTRAL MERCHANT VESSELS AND CIVIL AIRCRAFT

Neutral merchant vessels

67. Merchant vessels flying the flag of neutral States may not be attacked unless they:

(a) are believed on reasonable grounds to be carrying contraband or breaching a blockade, and after prior warning they intentionally and clearly refuse to stop, or intentionally and clearly resist visit, search or capture;
(b) engage in belligerent acts on behalf of the enemy;
(c) act as auxiliaries to the enemy’s armed forces;
(d) are incorporated into or assist the enemy’s intelligence system;
(e) sail under convoy of enemy warships or military aircraft; or
(f) otherwise make an effective contribution to the enemy’s military action, e.g., by carrying military materials, and it is not feasible for the attacking forces to first place passengers and crew in a place of safety.
Unless circumstances do not permit, they are to be given a warning, so that they can re-route, off-load, or take other precautions.

2. Israel gave the ships ample warning to re-route or pass the humanitarian assistance through the available channels either in Israel or in Egypt.

Here’s the video of the message being communicated:

3. The  “peace activists”  attacked IDF soldiers, who had boarded the ship, with iron bars, knives, and axes. Remarkably, IDF troops took a beating for 40 minutes before finally opening fire to defend themselves.

Here’s that footage:

I am sure that brainwashed Palestinian sympathizers will not be confused by the facts. As to decent people looking for truth, I offer just one small question to ponder. How many acts of terrorism and violence have been committed by Jews in your native country? How many by Muslims?  Why should this be any different in the Middle East?

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Is Encouragement Good for Kids?

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At last week’s PTA meeting, the school brought a parenting counselor to talk about encouragement. She discussed how giving specific encouragement, when kids do things right reinforces positive behavior and helps reach scholastic achievements. Ultimately, the reasoning goes, kids learn how to give themselves positive feedback.

This is exactly where the approach goes wrong, in my opinion. By constantly encouraging the kids when they do things right, parents undermine the ability to look within for motivation. Encouraged kids grow up to be adults that are dependent on external praise and do not have the fortitude to make correct, but unpopular choices.

On the other hand, each time we praise a child when he behaves or performs well and withhold praise when things go wrong, we inadvertently teach him that our love and, by extension, his worth are based on performance.

When a child gets an A on a test or goes out of his way to help someone, he doesn’t need our praise. He knows he has done well and he feels happy. At such times, we would do well by emphasizing how he feels and identifying with these positive feelings. Instead of, “I am so proud of you,” how about, “I am sure you are very proud of yourself.” The beaming smile on the mother’s face is enough for the child to understand that she is celebrating the good times together with him.

Children do need encouragement, sorely so, but not when everything is OK. It is exactly at the moments of failure, of bad behavior and poor learning that kids crave encouragement. Once we reiterate the limits (in cases of misbehavior) or figure out what went wrong at school, we can communicate our empathy with the child’s plight as well as our belief that the letdown is only temporary, but our love is eternal and unconditional. This is the time to share our vision of the child’s potential and our belief in his ability to actualize it.

Such encouragement teaches the child that no matter how many times he fails, he is not a failure. It gives him the strength to pick up the pieces and carry on, may be even try harder the next time around. It develops a feeling of self-worth that has greater chances of surviving through whatever life may throw at him.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the example brought by the counselor at the school’s event. She suggested mothers look back at the encouragement given by midwives or doctors at the time of birth in order to realize how instrumental it was in helping deliver the baby. This sounds like a great exercise, except it proves the opposite point! Though I have given birth to five children, I am yet to meet a midwife that would clap her hands and tell me how well I did after the child is born. At childbirth, the encouragement and support are given during the moments of crisis and pain before the delivery, when the mother might question her ability to survive the ordeal.

By supporting our children in hard times we can help them develop the courage to look inward for motivation, to withstand difficulties, and to persevere in the face of criticism.

What do you think about the effects of encouragement on children?

Adapted from a lesson by Rachel Arbus. To read more of Rachel’s unorthodox, but thought-provoking parenting advice, check out her book.

Cold Soup on a Hot Day

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With the heat wave upon us, and many more expected in the coming months, the idea of hot kitchens and heavy meals doesn’t resonate with family chefs and their “clients.”

That’s where these nutritious, delicious, and super-easy recipes come in. There is nothing like a bowl of nourishing yet refreshing cold soup to please your family on a hot day.

Serve these with some whole wheat or rye bread and a plate of fresh fruit for dessert and you’ve got a complete meal in less than 20 minutes.

Okroshka

The word “okroshka” comes from the Russian word for a crumb. The soup is made of finely chopped vegetables combine with a liquid, either kvass (a fermented bread drink) or kefir (buttermilk).  Kvass is available at most Russian food stores, but you can also use more familiar ingredients, such as diluted plain yogurt.

Borscht

Borscht is a familiar comfort soup to any person with even the faintest of Eastern European roots. Borscht comes in both hot and cold varieties. Here is my mother’s signature recipe of the cold summer borscht. It is infinitely better than anything you can buy in a jar.

Gazpacho

Unlike the above recipes, gazpacho originated in Spain. Although I started making it only a few years ago, it is immensely popular with my kids. Talk about a melting pot.

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